[ All Forums | Create a new topic ]
Welcome to gay Cowboy Forums |
||
ALL FORUMS > LOVE STUFF > RELATIONSHIPS > online relationships | ||
online relationships
can a person be completely committed to another person whom they only know from cyberspace. Even though the relationship lasts for the better part of2 years,are the emotions and feelings invested in it actually genuine,or are you simply fooling yourself by the image such a fantasy shows you. I guess my question is to anyone out there that has actually spent the time and effort to put in a relationship thats based purely on information exchanged thru the internet with no physical meeting during the entire time. I would appreciate any and all feedback and any suggestions on closure.
thanks guys!
Bailey |
||
online relationships
Bailey, although I haven't actually had a cyberspace relationship like the1 you're asking about, I think that I can give you some insight into the situation. Cyberspace can be a land of illusion and phantasy, even though you personally are a straight shooter presenting yourself as who you really are. Some people, (not just men), want to put their 'best foot forward' and dress up their image on the 'net with dated photos, inflated descriptions of who they are & what they have done, and in e-mails how they think and feel. Some folks tell people what they think they want to hear even though that is not what they really think or feel. Some people are outright manipulators and deceivers trying to see what they can get out of another person and have no real interest in a relationship at all. (They see it as too confining because they enjoy the cat & mouse games they play.) There is nothing better than spending real time (and lots of it)with the man who interests you. See all of his moods, who he reacts in different situations, and let him discuss important issues with you face to face while looking him in the eye. Make sure that he really is the man he represented himself to be on the 'net. A few years back someone saw a personal of mine and answered it. He looked like he could stars in a set of "Marlboro Man" ads. All his e-mails were written in a masculine tone and he sounded like the genuine article. Then he gave me his telephone number and asked me to call him. When he answered the phone he went from "Marlboro man" to the 'raging queen' of gay streotypes. You see, I had projected on him the type of man I wanted, masculine, unaffected, and genuine. And his view of him himself was in line with that also. But that wasn't who he really was. Meet the man, spend as much time as you can with him and let him put forth equal time, money and effort to spend an equal amount of time with you. Then you have a far better chance to know him for what he really is. Guard your heart, buddy. Like Reagan said about the Russians, "Trust but verify!" |
||
online relationships
NO |
||
online relationships
Yes I have quite a few times, and it gets very frustrating and too the point that all I did was rush home from work and check e mails, and stay glued to the computer, my life seemed to exist only on the net. |
||
online relationships
I think it boils down to what you want the relationship to be and what you expect. I am in an on-line psuedo relationship with a guy right now. He lives in another state, is married, and has no plans to hook up with anyone. He enjoys the chat and pic exchange of the web as an outlet to a world he can't have right now. So I enjoy the notes and the love talk. I fully understand this is just a cyber thing and there will never be anything physical. He's hot and that's a bummer but it is nice for what it is. If it were a lot of empty promises that would be very different. As long as things are clearly laid out up front then cyber only is fine. |
||
online relationships
It is always nice to find someone you can enjoy chatting with and exchange some idea and pictures - but even better if you can meet once in a while knowing that in doing so that it might be only a friendship and nothing more - but you have to start somewhere. |
||
online relationships
Online realtionships are tough to say the least. I believe that they can be very committed and1 can really bare thier soul via the web. However I think the ultimate goal would have to be the eventual meeting physically. Its tough to pour out your feelings if you never plan on meeting.. and often the hope to1 day meet keeps things going. |
||
online relationships
a few pictures stolen from another website, a quick profile and your all set to be anyone you wished you were but are not.
for all anyone knows they could be a man, a woman, a primate or someone from india working you over to clean out your bank accounts. |
||
online relationships
I'm sort of in what started as an online relationship. It's moved clear of the computer now, to daily phone calls, and planning on meeting within the next month.
I'm pretty sure the reason this has worked to this point is, we are both from the same background, and the same region of the country. Our goals, values and morals are the same.
There is also a great deal of trust on both our part, to understand that neither of us is available all the time because of work schedules and commitments.
Maybe this is just different. We met online, but it moved offline pretty much right away.
In our first phone conversation, I told him that I wasn't interested in a1 nighter. I want a committed relationship, and if we can't be friends first, then there's not much to build on. He agreed.
I don't want to come home to someone that has a big dick and can't carry on a conversation. I'd rather have a small dick, and a soul mate. :) |
||
online relationships
I like to agree that meeting guys online is sometimes too good to be true and most of the times it is.......and friends first is always the best approach for me even if it means just talking via the phone or emailing. I am honest with the guys I converse with so there is no surprises for them as that is what I expect.......and yes I enjoy playing around from time to time....but converstation is always good and I prefer average to smaller dicks so big dicks do not impress me......anyway my2 cents worth.....phill in idaho |
||
online relationships
I have had the same experience only with a different twist on CowboyCentral...The minute I share some of the events and accomplishments in my life, they disappear. Seems they feel a bit intimidated which I think is irrational and unwarranted. My advice is the same as Yorre's....beware and remember there are people out here with varying degrees of social experience and honesty not to mention misguided preconceptions. Don't allow yourself to get hurt and don't hurt anyone with deception. PAUL O. |
||
online relationships
I think that forming an online relationship is harder but worth the effort. Especially if you remember that any relationship is hard to make work , it takes commitment and talking on line on the phone and in person when you can . It also takes alot of understanding on both peoples part and staying in the here and now not in the fantasies that we all can build up. |
||
online relationships
Relationships are linear they must move forward, not stay in1 place and not become a circle. People grow and change and relationships have to keep pace. I have2 pen pals,1 I have corresponded with for 30 years and1 for about 10 years. Each of these guys started out as possible relationships but we didn't meet or couldn't meet and eventually they became friendships. When I finally met each1 of them the friendship was too important to jeopardize. Only ever met them once in all those years but to this day we speak frequently by letter, phone or email, and we love each other totally we are what we were meant to be to each other and I'm glad. We are a desperate bunch and we do10d to let things grow way to fast in our minds. We also frequently10d to mistake lust for love and when the lust is gone we think the love is gone, when really it should only then be starting. Best of luck ... just keep both feet on the ground and follow the advise you would give to another. |
||
online relationships
i think it is hard, but not imposible!
That is what you want? A dream in Internet as if it was a fairy-tale? Or a person that you know for this way but that ultimately they decide to make life united? The spaces gay in the world are small, because of it is that this type of webpage are a very important way to know gay people, but on you there depends what you look and the availability for skill to manage to do a relation with someone, my recommendation, is that alone you use the Internet as way to know people, but to do a formal relationship, knows physically the person, coexists and feels the presence, it will help you to know if really he is the person for that you search. |
||
online relationships
can we chat in [----] please.. |
||
online relationships
bailey, I can say from personal exp. that it is possible to find love on the net. We im'ed and emailed for almost a year be4 meeting in person. Have been seeing each other now in person for almost a year now and I can say I am truely madly and deeply in Love with him. Grows stronger with every day. We both had come out of bad relationships, his the lose of his partner to cancer then a bad relationship after that. mine a 17 yr marriage. So both of us were hurt and cautious to say the least. I knew I could at least have a good friend from the first. He is still holding back and healing to a degree, he has finally things that give me hope, and I have told him I am patient and can wait for him and will be there for/with him.
To make it short It has been worth the time and effort and I would regrett this if it ended now, I at least know that I can Love again. |
||
online relationships
I would love to find that person that I can tell all my secreats to. The friends I have at the moment are all straight and I can't risk it.
I have chosen to be in the closet and believe me.. I am very happy with it. let me know if you would like to talk with me1 day.
email me at
jmiii69
at YH
[----]com and I will give you all my information...
Its nice knowing you.
Thanks
and god bless you
|
||
online relationships
I am in an online relationship that seems to be going quite well. It has been fun getting to know1 another and sharing same experiences. We both realize that distance keeps us apart, but we look forward to our talks and love notes. We both live busy lives and may never meet, but we agree that it is what it is and are enjoying the experience. |
||
online relationships
You all think that ture love can be found online? If so POINT it out!!! |
||
online relationships
I agree with torry ... you never know if a person is who he represents himself to be until you meet eye to eye. I dropped my heart to a guy on on website ... only to find him here on this website representing himself as someone quite different. Now I'm in the process of putting my heart back together, and searching again! |
||
online relationships
I just wish that i could find somebody to talk to on here, but i do understand the fear that a person feels when it comes to meeting people this way. You never realy now who you are meeting, but mabe its worth the risk to meet that guy that will be your friend forever, someone how you can always talk to becouse they have alot of the same problems that you do. id like to find more friends like that. |
||
online relationships
Bailey, I am really glad to find this question here because I have been having an online relationship for the last 8 1/2 years. From your question and the other responses I am apparently not the only1. I see that you are in a relationship now. I am curious if it is with the guy you were in the online relationship with. When I first started talking to mine I truly thought that everything would work out. I never expected that I would still be waiting today for the chance to meet him. We have shared every thought I can think of and the relationship endures. However, nothing has changed, he is still married and still in the life he was in when we first started talking. On top of that we live a long way from each other. However, I truly do love him and I am pretty sure he loves me too. If he didn’t he would not continue to get in touch several times a week. I knew from the very beginning that he was the person I had been searching my whole life for. I know he is afraid to break out of the life that he has lived in for so long even though he is very unhappy. I know he fears loosing everything. To think of not having him in my life tears me apart. People tell me to move on because I may be missing out on someone who I could really be with physically. However there is a bond there that is very strong. So what do I do? I have no idea. |
||
online relationships
Relationships can start online. But they must evolve into a personal relationship. Without meeting, being together, knowing each other quirks, it will never work. I agree with the guy who said a long term online relationship is a fantasy. Nothing more!
I want to spend my life with a man of my dreams. Not spend my life and our relationship (long term) online, never being together.
|
||
Welcome to gay Cowboy Forums |
||
23 |
||
15 |
||
11 |
||
9 |
||
7 |
||
5 |
||
5 |
||
5 |
||
3 |
||
3 |
||
2 |
||
2 |
||
2 |
||
1 |
||
1 |
||
1 |
||
1 |
||
1 |
||
