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1. I THINK IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT GAY COWBOYS STAND FOR EVERYTHING DIGNIFIED, RIGHTEOUS AND GOOD ABOUT THIS GREAT AND STOIC LAND OF OURS THAT SO MANY OF YOU PATHETIC SNIVELING LITTLE PIECES OF TOOTIE-FRUITIE CRAP SEEM TO TAKE FOR GRANTED. GAY COWBOYS REPRESENT THE FREEDOM, COURAGE, STRENGTH AND UNBRIDLED SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE THAT DEFINE WHAT AMERICA HAS HISTORICALLY BEEN, IS NOW AND SHALL FOREVER CONTINUE TO BE. IF AMERICA WERE TO HAVE A HEART, IT WOULD EITHER BE A DESERT EAGLE OR A GAY COWBOY. IF YOU ARE ANYTHING LIKE ME, YOU NEED A BLOATED FURRY-BACKED COWBOY-SAILOR WEREWOLF FULLY AROUSED AND GLISTENING IN THE DARK AT THE FOOT OF YOUR BED AT ALL TIMES OR LIFE JUST ISN'T WORTH LIVING. BELIEVE ME: I CRAVE EATING FRITOS OUT OF MORE THAN JUST THE BAG THEY CAME IN, SO GET IN TOUCH REAL SOON, PARTNER. OH YEEEEEEZ.Y'ALL COME BACK NOW,YOU HEAR

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